Throughout my many adventurous adventures I have met many super heroes and heroines. I have also met many nemeses who were working against my goals of solving world peace and world hunger. Here is a list of my friends and their powers:
Delicate Daisy - who makes the world more beautiful and ecologically friendly by planting flowers and trees; definitely a very beautiful super woman.
Harry the Hamburger - he's not really a super hero per say but he is really helpful in helping me pull of secret missions, he is a super intelligent guy with the know how to do anything
Curtina the Chaste- a virtuous nun whose sister is Nancy the Nun, very service oriented
Nancy the Nun - a nun who loves to party, she is also very service oriented but isn't afraid to bob for apples or ride on a lawnmower much to her sister's distaste
Sully Sewerman- nothing reeks quite like garbage, and who is better to take care of it than Sully; he's your leading man for the crap that stinks and for taking out garbage like power hungry presidents and demoralized hippies
Jukebox Joe- this guy knows all of the best tunes. Nothing like Bing Crosby to get a superhero going, or Jennifer Saunders' version of "I Need a Hero". This guy is the best for getting people pumped to fight for what's right
Super Junior Mint- My mentor and friend for many years. I haven't talked to her because she is far away, but hopefully I will be able to see her soon and give her skittles and a high five.
Harry the Hamburger's stepmom- what says mother like step mother? Step mom of course, and that's just what Harry's step mom is. She's pretty much an awesome lady that loves to smile and give compliments.
Alicia- my friend who is super in many ways but not in a super power sort of way, but this girl has the heart of a giant, the fist of a titan, and the eyes of a hawk. She loves skittles and would kick Miss Alabama's trash anyday in a beauty pageant.
Jillian the Jellohanded - although jello-handed, Jillian is not afraid to speak her mind and loves to throw parties. She often uses her jello hands to get into government protected skittles so that we can give them to those without.
My Arch nemeses are as follows:
Gregarious Girl- man, will this girl stop talking? She is quick to talk but slow to think. If only she would exercise some self control, perhaps secret skittle secrets wouldn't leak so easily, we don't talk to her but we get a chat from her everytime we see her.
Reese's Man - definitely not a skittles lover, he is used to taking away from the poor and giving to the rich for government secrets, power, and money (giving to the rich for money? I know not really creative of him)
Spirited Woman - Definitely the most interesting piece of work to be discovered, she thinks she is always right and that she should mouth off and punch anyone in sight. Someone should give her an attitude makeover.
I hope you enjoyed this list of friends and foes, beware there are more to come, but these are my oldest and most likely to appear again. Enjoy!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Some days are decidedly better than others. For example, if I slip on a banana peel, get milk spilled on my pants, get slapped by a beautiful woman, get spat on by a three year old, get in a flying crash in midair, hurt my left skittle, and vomit on my favorite piece of grass it is a decidedly bad day. Today, though, was not such a day. Well, it all really started yesterday. I was working on a crew putting together a Miss America pageant, when the judges got really hungry. Miss Alabama wasn't doing anything so I asked her if she wanted to fly with me to grab the judges a bite to eat. Miss Alabama, being the incredibly intelligent and beautiful Miss Alabama that she is, said she would much rather walk to save the environment. (Not that I put off any emissions when I fly) I got to talking to Miss Alabama and found that I had absolutely nothing in common with her. Even though she was an intelligent and beautiful young woman, I realized I could have nothing short of acquaintance with her and here is why. She doesn't like skittles. I know! Who doesn't like skittles? Well obviously Miss Alabama. Anyways, we got our food and went back to the pageant and the crew told stories back stage. Of course, the crew was comprised of my fellow super heroes, including Delicate Daisy (making the world more beautiful and ecologically friendly by planting flowers and trees). After the pageant had concluded (long but definitely worth it, world peace is on my agenda too, ladies), Daisy and I made our way to the coolest burger joint in town and ate some delectable vittles. We talked and she reaffirmed that she loved skittles. I realized that I did too (of course I did!!) and we had a long conversation while I flew Daisy home. After encounters with Spirited Woman, it is nice to encounter intelligent, beautiful, and friendly women who enjoy talking to handsome, superheroes.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Tired, it's not usually a word I use to describe my hot bodness usually, but occasionally it happens to the best of us. It come from a long week of raising money for the families of Innocent victims and dancing like noone is watching. I also flew around town knocking out super villains, not to mention my alter ego and true identity (who shall not be named) had calculus homework. I mean who wouldn't be tired after a week like that. It's been a peaceful week and I have only seen Spirited Woman in passing, perhaps though she is planning something devilsome. Or maybe she is just tired too. I did happen to see my fellow comrades Nancy the Nun and Curtina the Chaste raising money this week too. Altogether I must say, nothing is better than skittles.
Posted by Paul Hill at 4:04 PM